Forced adoptions in Britain were to everybody’s shame | Parents and parenting

The adoption of babies in the 1960s and 70s has become a hot topic again (Forced adoption survivors to get full apology from UK government, says Phillipson, 17 June). As an adoption social worker at that time, I remember the trauma suffered by birth parents when their babies were removed for adoption. However, I’m afraid that the parents of these women cannot be let off the hook.

Young women and girls who became pregnant outside of marriage were told by their parents that they had brought shame on the family, and that they were to go away and not return until the baby was no longer with them. This was the norm in society then, and children’s charities played a big part. Mother and baby homes were carrying out what society requested.

Later, when the government brought in the adoption support services regulations in 2005, those who had suffered previously were provided with counselling and support. My colleagues and I established weekend workshops for adoptees, birth mothers and birth fathers. It was often the first time they had met others in the same situation. We were able to disabuse adoptees of their belief that their birth parents hadn’t loved them and had rejected them. Their relief was palpable.

Likewise, we were able to help birth parents with their long-lasting shame and subsequent mental health issues. So not only should there be a government apology, but everyone must take responsibility for such decisions – society, families, the agencies, and mother and baby homes.
Christine Hayes
Wokingham, Berkshire